Is there a "Perfect" Diet?
Today’s diet culture, with it's focus on food & fat, can be really overwhelming!
The wellness industry is one of the fastest growing industries across the globe. Whether or not we realize it, we’re constantly being marketed to. And in our day and age - this ‘wellness marketing’ has created a lot of damage in the form of body dysmorphia and body shame for many people. Scrolls of instagram feeds with fit humans showing off their six packs is toxic health messaging.
Aiming to have a certain body type is not synonymous with health and wellness. In fact, pressure to achieve a certain body type (for ex: skinny waist, large booty) can detract from what’s truly important: feeling good inside your body, optimizing your energy levels and feeling confident in how you move through the world and whatever other goals you have for yourself.
First things first - we need to let go of the idea that there’s a perfect diet.
There’s no such thing as a “perfect” diet because there’s no such thing as a ‘one size fits all’ approach for eating and health. Every person is unique in regards to their health goals, bio-individuality (how our diets and environment impact our physiology, genes, hormones), and lifestyles.
Your nutrition needs are likely different than your friend, sister, partner and neighbor.
Comparing yourself to others can perpetuate shame and body dysmorphia because it measures our success based on other people’s standards for what they want vs. focusing on what actually makes you feel good in your body and in your life.
Food is a powerful tool in helping the body heal - but not if we have a negative relationship to it. A healthy body includes a healthy mind, which is why I am so passionate about helping others create a kinder internal dialogue regarding their bodies and food choices.
Regardless on the nutrition doctrine you prescribe to, here are some thoughts of how we can recover from a perfectionist-diet mentality:
RE-DEFINE SUCCESS
When you’re working to set your health goals, ask yourself what is it that you really want to achieve? All too often we set goals based on other people’s version of success - to lose a certain amount of weight, getting flatter abs, a more lifted butt, thighs that don’t touch, etc. While these are OK goals to have for now, it’s important to expand the conversation and dig a little bit deeper. What is truly motivating for you? I touch on this topic more deeply in the first unit of my online course, Food Foundations. Click here to read more about the online course.
When it comes to nutrition and internal motivators I think about what you want to cultivate in your life? This might be in relation to your self confidence, energy levels, mood, personal relationships and productivity at work or it could be something that’s completely different (because this process is completely unique to you!).
I find this exercise so helpful because it also helps to release “the shoulds”. How many times have you thought “I shouldn’t eat that ...” or “I should be working out ...” and so on? This is usually someone else's’ voice rather than your own. Although I am certainly guilty of this kind of thinking, I find it helpful to take a step back and re-define what direction I want to move towards.
The journaling prompts below help set your health goals on your own terms. When you end up reaching for the cookie, rather than thinking “should I be eating this?” the question becomes “Do I want to be eating this?” or “How will I feel after I eat this cookie?”. This is so much more empowering and will serve as a stronger motivator in your health journey.
Journaling prompt - What does health mean to you? What does success mean to you? What can you do to make the process of achieving your goals more enjoyable?
STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE
Do you have unrealistic expectations for yourself or are you able to find compromises (in both life and food)? Life can get really messy and striving for perfection can be a really daunting task.
One of my clients wanted desperately perfect her diet - so much so that she ended up building a lot of fears around food. When she couldn't find organic produce she would opt out of vegetables entirely because she viewed their conventional counterparts harmful. In reality I much rather her getting the vegetables on her plate and then choose the organic ones (when possible). Her focus on finding only organic produce was actually compromising her ability to make healthy choices! Being able to bend and create compromises helped lighten her experience and make her more confident regarding her choices.
Every day we wake up with a choice - you can choose to strive for excellence rather than perfection. Although it sets the standard high it makes the process more fluid and achievable.
Journaling prompt - What does it mean for you to strive for excellence versus perfection?
HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR HEALTH AND START HEALING YOUR BODY
If you’re ready to cut through the nutrition noise and start making changes to actually heal yourself — follow this guide.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES
Making mistakes is a natural part of life and although it feels painful and embarrassing at times, it is what makes us human! We learn best by messing up, brushing ourselves off and moving on rather than dwelling on our own inadequacies.
Think about babies who are learning how to walk - they fall a million times before they can get up and take their first steps (and then they start running away and it feels like you’ll never be able to catch them).
We often feel ashamed and guilty when we ‘fail’, but what would happen if we tried to learn from these mistakes? Let’s say you’re feeling bad because you had a stressful day and ate a piece of chocolate cake for dinner (whoops!). Rather than beating yourself up, a more productive question would be: what is the lesson in this? Maybe you need to look into other ways to relax and unwind, maybe you need to prepare your food ahead of time. This is a way more productive use of brain space than dwelling on this internal turmoil.
These moments can be our best teachers - it’s just important to exercise awareness, be open to what comes up for you and then move on!
Journaling prompt - What is the lesson in this? How can I learn from this experience? What can I take with me that will serve me better?
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
When it comes to eating, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach. Not only does each body have different needs but YOUR body has different needs every day, week, month, etc. - we are constantly evolving creatures!
It can be tempting to jump on the fad diet chain, but the reality is what works for you will be different than what worked for Beyonce or Oprah or even your friend Katie from work. And what worked for you a few years ago might be different than what you need at this moment in time.
Learn to listen to your body’s signs and signals is essential for creating a healthy body. A combination of critical thinking and intuitive eating can teach us so much about listening to what we actually need, and becoming more fluid with our food choices - while making the best choices for your body.
FIND BEAUTY IN YOUR IMPERFECTIONS
We often see imperfections as ugly, but is there a way we can spin this? I think it’s important to re-frame how we see our flaws because it can help you get out of a negative thought pattern in regards to your body. For example, if you feel like you have big thighs can you think of why you are grateful for them? They are probably very strong and can help you walk, jump and run through the world! That’s certainly something to celebrate.
Journaling prompt - what is a part of yourself you have criticize or pick at? What is the hidden gift here?
Subscribing to the perfect diet mindset can make you a little crazy because perfection is unachievable. What can you give yourself to shift your experience? The human body is incredible - what can you do to stop, listen and practice a little bit more kindness?
If you need a little extra nudge, follow the above journaling prompts to help you create more space, exercise awareness and practice more kindness to yourself.